If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
