yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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