3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize