Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
