I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so explain again why im purple
no
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
