he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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