he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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