Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
