Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
