Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
