His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize