I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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