That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
