You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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