My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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