Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
