There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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