I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
