that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
And then he peed in my hair
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