is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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