and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
