So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
