You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize