He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've blown a few things in my day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Holy shit dude........stairs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
