i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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