Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
