Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
