i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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