coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
