TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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