I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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