She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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