she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
