Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
