i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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