Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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(903): View more from Texas

u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

(214): View more from Texas

Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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(904): View more from Florida

i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

(320): View more from Minnesota

Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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(315): View more from New York

He tried to tip me with his police badge...

(1-315): View more from New York

and you didn't accept WHY?!

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(407): View more from Florida

Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS

(1-407): View more from Florida

That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it

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