I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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