It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
