Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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