I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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