The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
