If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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