Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
