Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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