So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
