plz talk dirty to me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
