there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
