I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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