im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
