I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I am mentally ready for anal.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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