I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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