Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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