I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
