You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
