How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
