Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
