Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

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(801): View more from Utah

Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.

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(407): View more from Florida

When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

our poor poor cab driver

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(775): View more from Nevada

She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am

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(713): View more from Texas

Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.

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