Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
