I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
