while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
