when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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