I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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