Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
