dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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