i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
